Writer

What nobody told me in school

The info on this post depends on your community background and also on where you studied.

Back in the day in the early 2000’s I was just a kid starting to transition into a teenager. My conceptions about the world were very simplistic and in school, I was the average weirdo girl. My confidence was less than 0 but before you judge: yes, I was one of the bullied kids. No, I did not know what “bullying” meant at that time. No, I didn’t live my life depending on haters. Never. And that experience is still the perfect antidote to stay away from people with bad behavior.

At this time, in school we got twice or (maybe) once a year a lecture about sexuality. It was a reminder for teenagers to use protection, have safe sex, that condoms prevent STD’s and other types of unpleasant things. The problem with these lectures was, in that time, the adults didn’t address other types of sex and how genders can be fluid. They didn’t explain gay sex or how to use a vibrator. Call me all sorts of feminist, but the fact is, they didn’t mention that sex is something that you shouldn’t be afraid of. Otherwise, it just means you’re not ready yet. And that’s a good thing. It means you’re still learning how to communicate with your body. That your organs are not machines that can only reproduce. They can do so much more. Sometimes the tone of these lectures will always be about boys being naughty and girls avoiding them. This attitude made me wonder as a child: Do women feel desire at all?

Of course during these teenage years we used to discuss sex as a task with a deadline. Because being a virgin was considered “lame”. In my case I decided to free myself from these stigmas and thanks to some books and online research I discovered the realness of women’s behavior and sexuality. And these pieces of information were crucial for me to understand, as a girl, that most of the theories about a woman’s behavior were unfortunately influenced by ideology and by other entities that have nothing to do with women’s sexuality. It has to do with education, society background and of course, how you consume information. At that time I got all the knowledge I needed to know about contraception and how my body worked (because I realized that was the trick to avoid pregnancy and other unwanted situations) as well as the basics of sexual health.

I’m glad that kids nowadays can access the right kind of information and parents shouldn’t restrain them for being informed. “There’s no such thing as too much information” – I don’t know whom to quote for this phrase.

I finish this post recommending the free newsletter of Lenny. Twice a week you can get articles about “feminism, style, health, politics, friendship and everything else from Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner.” Truly recommended.